


something to be proud of

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gay Pride, M/M, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: The next morning Alec is too excited to even think about eating breakfast, instead anxiously waiting for Magnus to finish his waffles and get ready so they can leave. When Magnus finally emerges from the bathroom with pink, purple, and blue streaks in his hair, Alec beams. This is it, they’re really doing this.---Or, Alicante's first Pride.





	something to be proud of

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Pride Month! <3

**New York - 2016**

_ ‘I’m married,’ _ Alec reminds himself as he walks hand-in-hand with Magnus down the city street toward the sounds of a crowd not too far away. ‘ _ I’m literally married. To a man. Why am I so nervous about this?’ _

He’s never been one for crowds or large public declarations. And this certainly is a crowd making a large, public declaration. Perhaps that’s why being present at Pride for the first time is such an intimidating idea for him. When Izzy first suggested they all go he’d been entirely against the idea. It’s just some ridiculous mundane event anyway - after spending his entire life feeling shame over his sexuality he isn’t sure he can just flip the switch from guilt to pride, no matter how confident he is in his own relationship with Magnus. He still feels a little self-conscious within the walls of the Institute from time to time, or in Alicante for meetings with the Clave… he hates that he is, but a few decades of concealing his true self and conditioned oppression don’t undo themselves overnight, not even with the love he now has working against them.  

It isn’t that he’s embarrassed, because he isn’t. He’s just not sure he’s ready for rainbow flags and parades. At least, that’s what Alec thinks as his small group of friends (Izzy, Simon, Magnus, and Underhill) finally reach their destination. 

He couldn’t have been more wrong. The moment they enter the area blocked off for the day’s events Alec can’t keep his eyes in one place. There’s so much to do, so much to  _ look at _ . His gaze is drawn to booths selling clothing and jewelry, another with flyers for awareness of groups or events or causes, others set up with food and drinks, and even stages for performances. That’s on top of the entire  _ miles _ of street which are sectioned off for a parade later in the day.

It isn’t until his eyes drift from the things around them to the people that it hits him. Everyone is smiling. Everyone is laughing. Even in the middle of the sweltering mid-day summer sun there isn’t a single person who looks like there’s anywhere else they’d rather be than decked out in colorful face paint or wearing flags around them as a badge of honor. 

Magnus gives Alec’s hand a squeeze. There was no denying Alec’s previous apprehension over going to the event and Alec’s thankful that Magnus made it very clear he wouldn’t judge him in the slightest if he’d rather not go for  _ any _ reason or leave early once they got there, no questions asked. 

“You alright?” Magnus asks, catching Alec’s wide-eyed gaze. 

“More than alright,” Alec confirms. He’s never been in a space so open to who he is, one that’s not only tolerant of his identity but entirely welcoming to the differences of the people surrounding him. It strikes him that, aside from his own wedding when he stood among the support of family and friends, this might be the first time he’s felt a sense of total acceptance of everything he’s ever thought or felt or wished for himself. 

Alec lets go of Magnus’ hand to allow that arm to reach around his husband’s waist, easing into the movement with a smile on his face. “I’ve seen it on the news before, you know, but actually  _ being  _ here…” Alec trails off, not quite sure how to put what he’s feeling into words. 

“It is nice, isn’t it? Even if it’s just for a day, to have a space where you don’t feel like you have to defend your existence… where you can just be yourself without having anything to prove.” Magnus fills in. 

And that’s it, Alec realizes. He feels  _ relaxed _ here. He isn’t putting on a show. He isn’t trying to be the perfect balance of Shadowhunter and Husband. He isn’t on guard to make sure he doesn’t slip up because every little mistake he makes will be used in sly comments against him by those who would rather see him fail for everything he currently represents in the Shadow World.

“Yeah, it is,” Alec agrees, feeling without a single doubt or reservation a sense of belonging he didn’t realize he was missing and embracing it the rest of the day. 

\---

**Idris, 2021**

It’s a long time coming, Alec thinks, but it’s an event that so many in his own generation of Shadowhunters never would’ve imagined seeing. The first Alicante Pride, organized by none other than Inquisitor Lightwood-Bane and High Warlock of Alicante Lightwood-Bane - which is far from a surprise once word starts to spread.

At first he’s a little worried. After all, despite the fact that he’s done everything within his power to make the Nephilim’s world as open and tolerant as possible there’s only so much one person can do. He can change all of the official stances he wants, he can create and plan new events such as this festival, but he can’t change public opinion and he certainly can’t singlehandedly undo centuries of inherited biases. He’s seen more LGBTQ+ Nephilim making themselves known the past few years than he had his entire life prior to his own marriage to Magnus, and the same goes for relationships between Nephilim and Downworlders. The stigma is fading, yes, but far from eradicated. He hears the whispers that follow him even to this day, even with as far as he’s come and the work he put into getting here. 

“What if nobody comes?” Alec asks the night before the festival, wringing his hands together anxiously. He petitioned for the opportunity to hold an event like this for years, and if it flops it’d be giving everyone who told him no total justification for their bigoted decisions time and time again. 

Magnus crosses the living room with a glass in his hand, grabbing one of Alec’s from it’s nervous fidgeting to place the drink in it instead. 

“Relax, darling. It’s going to be a wonderful event whether two people show up, or twenty, or two-hundred.”  Magnus has every reason to be confident that the event itself is going to be fun: Alec did his research, hours upon hours of it, before even proposing the idea. He’s looked into (and talked with) the organizers of some of the best Pride festivals around the world, and pulled elements from all of them that would not only draw in guests but also provide a safe, comfortable environment. 

He wants this to be a positive experience. He wants to show acceptance, and tolerance, and hopefully encourage more people who may still be hiding their true selves away that maybe they don’t have to keep hiding forever - that the world really is changing, or at least attempting to. But all of that hope will be wiped out in an instant if there’s any visible or vocal push-back. Security, as it stands, is a very select group of trusted Shadowhunters and Warlocks ready to remove any sign of trouble. 

_ ‘Raziel, please’ _ Alec thinks desperately as he forces himself to stop pacing and relax for a drink with Magnus before bed. ‘ _ Don’t let there be any trouble _ .’ 

The next morning Alec is too excited to even think about eating breakfast, instead anxiously waiting for Magnus to finish his waffles and get ready so they can leave. When Magnus finally emerges from the bathroom with pink, purple, and blue streaks in his hair, Alec beams. This is it, they’re really doing this.  

As they step through the portal Alec braces himself for the worst. However, he finds himself pleasantly surprised (on the verge of totally shocked) at the sight that ends up greeting them. 

It’s packed. 

Mostly with younger Shadowhunters and Downworlders- some people his own age but predominantly early twenties and below. There are some familiar faces and many he never saw before, a mixed group that Alec couldn’t be more pleased to see mingling together as one while they  wander around some booths set up by volunteers. He even spots a couple of families walking the grounds with their children. Some are clearly part of the community while others look slightly more uncomfortable, a few clearly the parents of eager young adults who  _ very obviously  _ dragged them out here. 

But they’re  _ here _ and they’re  _ trying _ , and Alec offers each and every one of them a reassuring smile and a few kind words of thanks for stopping out to make them feel more at ease. 

“Excuse me,” a soft female voice from behind him speaks. “Mr. Lightwood-Bane?” 

Alec and Magnus both stop to turn and then pause with an amused look between them, unsure which of them the woman is addressing. This isn’t the first time this has happened and Alec is certain it could happen a thousand more and he’d never get tired of it. 

“Sorry,” the woman says with a quiet laugh. “Inquisitor Lightwood-Bane, I suppose I should specify.” 

“Please, just Alec is fine,” Alec tells her. As he looks her over quickly, a woman only a handful of years older than himself if he had to guess, but while he looks at her he sees that her gaze isn’t on him - it’s on a young boy over by a table full of multicolored ribbons and flags. 

“I just…” she starts again, her attention back on him. “I wanted to thank you.” 

Alec steadies himself for whatever is going to come next. He’s had this sort of conversation before, the first time with Underhill and then dozens, maybe hundreds since then. He’s a little more used to them now but he still never knows exactly what to say ( _ he still doesn't feel like he deserves any extra praise for simply being himself) _ , so he waits for her to continue. 

“My son is… well, he’s gay. Or at least he thinks he might be. And a few years ago I would’ve reacted a lot differently than I did when he told me yesterday because he wanted to come here today.” Alec remembers himself at that age, easily recalling how confusing those first inklings were that he wasn’t quiet like the other boys his age, the feelings that were more confusing than not at the start. What he can’t imagine is being able to talk to anyone about it at that age, what that might feel like to a child trying to understand themselves and how important that moment was for the mother .

The woman continues. “A few years ago I would’ve worried about his future and what kind of life he might have in our world... But I don’t have those fears as much anymore, and it’s in no small part to you. And your husband.” She adds, smiling over at Magnus. 

Alec also chances a glance over at Magnus to see the warlock’s expression full of barely restrained pride. 

“I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to hear that,” Alec says, meaning every word. “And how glad I am that he has you to support him.” The risks he took - and continues to take - are because they were the right thing to do. He never meant to blaze a trail - he’s just a guy who fell in love and followed his dreams. Sometimes he forgets that every time he speaks out for himself it makes it a little easier for the next voice to follow. 

“I’m going to do my best,” she promises, and though she’s still talking to Alec her eyes are once more locked on her son and Alec knows it isn’t really him that she’s promising. “Anyway, I’m sure you have a busy day ahead of you. I just wanted to thank you, again, for doing things like this. I hope you know how much of a difference it’s making.” 

Alec swallows thickly, only daring to nod at first until he can be certain he’d reply with a steady tone. “Thank you,” he finally manages just as she goes back over to join her family. 

“Wow,” Magnus breaths out. “That sure was something.” 

It was more than something, though - it was  _ everything _ . All Alec ever wanted when he started putting these movements into motion, starting small with a talk at an Institute here or a small social event there, was to get to this point - to make the sort of grand gesture he would’ve ran the other way from half a decade ago because he understands the difference it can make. He knows nothing will ever be perfect in his lifetime but he’ll be damned if he isn’t going to make as much progress as he can while he’s here. He always said if he managed to make just one life better it would be worth it, and one look around tells him that the influence he holds now reaches far beyond just one life. 

“This is the legacy you’re building, Alexander. And I want you to know how proud I am of it - and of you.” Magnus says at his side, turning to lean in for a quick kiss. 

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Alec says once they break away again. It’s almost too much for Alec to take in all at once so he allows himself a few minutes to simply stand with Magnus and process. 

It isn’t often Alec allows himself to step back and admire his own handiwork. So often what he does is a matter of duty or expectation, nothing worth any special note. But this? This is different. A few years ago he couldn’t imagine a point in time where Nephilim like him might simply live a comfortable, honest existence... let alone one where they could openly thrive in a community of their own. And now, watching countless others experience that sense of belonging he strove to recreate today, embracing that initial moment of hope that maybe there’s a place for them in the life they were born into after all? 

This is truly something to be proud of. 

**Author's Note:**

> ( Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell) while we all hang out waiting for someone to #SaveShadowhunters ! <3)


End file.
